IFS Therapist Boulder, CO | Virtual & In-Person Specialists

Takeaway: Each of us has different parts of ourselves. However, the conflict between those parts can sometimes be overwhelming and uncomfortable. Working with an internal family systems therapist can help you calm this inner battle and learn to embrace all of who you are with kindness and self-acceptance. Get started today.

Have you ever wanted to become a better, healthier, happier version of yourself? Someone who is kinder, less judgmental, and more empowered? The internal family systems model believes that these qualities already exist inside of you. The goal of internal family systems is for you to connect with your authentic Self so that you can relate to others, yourself, and the world around you in a more loving and grounded way, ultimately facilitating healing experiences.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is a powerful modality that helps you to embrace all aspects of yourself with kindness and acceptance. This evidence-based approach is tailored to address a spectrum of mental health issues, from anxiety and depression to PTSD, complex trauma, substance misuse, and eating disorders. In this blog, we'll explore how IFS therapy can be transformative.

Does this sound like you?

Do you tend to expect a lot from yourself and others?

Sometimes you notice that you feel uncomfortable when you are not in control of a situation.

When you feel difficult emotions like anxiety or anger, you deal with it by binge eating, substance abuse, scrolling on your phone for hours, dissociating, or flying into a rage.

Are you a big planner? You organize your life with lengthy to-do lists, and your calendar is jam-packed months out.

You tend to take care of other people's needs before your own. You feel more calm when others feel happy.

Are you an overthinker? You strategize and ruminate on big and small decisions.

You want to feel needed by others, so you make yourself indispensable to them. But you don't feel like you get the same help and support in return.

Do you struggle with self-criticism? Are you harsh towards yourself when you make a mistake?

Your brain is always moving. You think meditation might help, but you can't get yourself to try it.

There is a way out of these old patterns. IFS is a path to restoring wholeness and balance for you. Help is available.

Working with an internal family systems therapist can help.

Our therapists are experienced in using IFS therapy to heal trauma and improve mental health symptoms so that clients can feel comfortable living their lives in healthier ways. Through a combination of compassionate understanding and evidence-based techniques, we aim to help you embrace the entirety of who you are by fostering curiosity and compassion for your various parts. This is more than a therapeutic method; it's a pathway towards profound self-discovery and healing.

In the following sections, we'll delve deeper into what IFS entails.

Understanding IFS

The human mind is a complicated place. Internal Family Systems therapy offers a beacon of hope and healing. This innovative approach recognizes that within each of us resides a dynamic ensemble of distinct, often conflicting, parts. These parts are akin to subpersonalities, each with its unique emotions, beliefs, and motivations. At its core, IFS operates on the principle that beneath even the most extreme emotions or behaviors, there exists an inner system striving for balance and well-being.

Exploring the Core Tenets of IFS

To comprehend the efficacy of IFS therapy, it's crucial to delve into its foundational principles. Dr. Richard Schwartz, the creator of IFS, posits that our inner world is akin to a family system, where parts take on roles that may sometimes clash or overpower one another. The goal of IFS is to facilitate dialogue and harmony among these sub personalities, allowing them to work together in synergy rather than opposition.

Internal Family Systems Therapy identifies four main parts of our internal world:

  • At the heart of the internal family lies the Exiles. These parts are the wounded parts, often stemming from early traumatic experiences. These are the aspects of ourselves we may have hidden away, hoping to shield them from further pain. Yet, they carry immense emotional weight, and addressing them is pivotal in the journey towards healing.

  • The role of Managers is to protect the Exiles from re-experiencing their pain. Managers and protective parts and take charge. These parts are akin to the diligent, task-oriented members of a family, often exhibiting traits like perfectionism, control, or hyper-vigilance. While their intentions are protective, they can sometimes become overbearing, leading to inner turmoil.

  • When the pain of the Exiles threatens to surface, Firefighters step in, seeking to extinguish the emotional blaze with impulsive, distracting behaviors. These might manifest as addictions, self-harm, or other forms of escapist tendencies. While their intervention may provide temporary relief, it can exacerbate the inner conflict in the long run.

  • Central to the IFS model is the concept of the Self, an unburdened, wise, and compassionate core that exists within each individual. The goal of IFS therapy is to help individuals connect with and strengthen this central Self, allowing for self leadership in orchestrating harmony among the various parts.

Understanding these distinct roles within our internal family system is paramount in embarking on the transformative journey that IFS therapy offers. By recognizing and engaging with these parts, individuals can pave the way toward healing, self-compassion, and a more integrated sense of self.

Our approach to IFS therapy in Boulder, CO

Our therapists are non-pathologizing and do not think you are broken or doomed because of your mental health issues. We believe that our clients are so much more than any disorder and want to work with the whole human and its different parts to find the best path out of suffering.

We believe that developing a disorder and a need for healing trauma is a very reasonable response to a difficult world and life events. This is why we take a trauma-informed/focused approach. The experiences of your life accumulate in the nervous system and psyche and can result in mental health responses like depression, anxiety, panic attacks, mood disorders, substance abuse, and trouble with relationships.

We develop relationships with our clients and all their parts so you can approach your challenges from a place of safety, warmth, and non-judgment. Whether you are experiencing a long-term issue or a life transition, our mental health professionals are here to help our clients cope, feel calm, and heal.

We believe that there an no bad parts and all of the sub personalities you have developed have served an important role in your life. Perhaps now, the patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving are no longer serving you as you try to become your best self. We are hear to help you untangle and understand those parts from a place of compassion and growth.

Who our internal family systems therapy services are for

We specialize in folks with complex trauma. Complex trauma is the accumulation of difficult experiences over a lifetime. These experiences can include sexual abuse, physical/emotional abuse, physical/emotional neglect, oppression, poverty, and not having our basic needs met. Over time these experiences cultivate the development of unhelpful dynamics and traits. Complex trauma can result in difficulty regulating emotions, hyper-arousal, disassociation, depressive symptoms, sleep issues, low self-worth, relationship difficulty, physical health concerns, substance use, process addiction, excessive perfectionism, and people-pleasing.

While our doors are open to all folks and identities, here are some populations we commonly serve:

  • Folks that fall under the queer umbrella can have experiences of discrimination and oppression that amplify or create mental health symptoms. Our licensed professional counselors are either queer-identified or affirming. We work with your needs through the lens of your experience and identity.

  • We see clients in many different relationship configurations. We also recognize that practicing consensual and ethical non-monogamy comes with its own unique challenges that can trigger pain and trauma responses. Wherever you are in your relationship journey, we are here to support you.

  • Our practice holds HAES (health at every size) values. This means we believe that health and wellness can be achieved at every size, and we don't think you need to change your body size to experience healing. We recognize that experiences of discrimination and anti-fat bias impact mental health, and we hold this in our awareness when providing treatment.

  • We recognize that developing a substance or process addiction is an honest attempt at coping with mental health concerns. We often take a harm reduction approach and have trained addiction counselors to help you work with co-occurring concerns.

How IFS can help

In the realm of therapeutic approaches, Internal Family Systems (IFS) stands out as a powerful catalyst for healing and self-discovery. This innovative method offers a unique perspective on the human psyche, viewing it as a complex interplay of distinct "parts," each with its emotions, beliefs, and motivations. By fostering a dialogue and harmonizing these inner factions, IFS holds the potential for profound transformation.

Let's delve into the myriad ways IFS can guide individuals toward a more integrated and balanced sense of self. Here are five ways the IFS approach helps.

1. Emotional Integration and Regulation

IFS therapy facilitates the integration of suppressed or overwhelming emotions. By acknowledging and addressing these feelings, individuals can achieve a greater sense of emotional balance and stability. This can lead to reduced anxiety, depression, and overall enhanced emotional well-being.

4. Enhanced Relationships and Communication

IFS therapy promotes better understanding and communication among the internal parts. This newfound sense of inner harmony often translates into improved relationships with others. By learning to navigate and express oneself more authentically, individuals can experience deeper, more fulfilling connections.

2. Resolution of Past Trauma

Unresolved trauma often manifests as inner turmoil and emotional distress. IFS therapy provides a structured framework for engaging with and healing these deep-seated wounds. By working with the Exiles (the wounded parts that carry the most profound pain), individuals can find relief and reclaim a sense of agency over their lives.

5. Empowerment and Personal Growth

By becoming acquainted with and integrating the various parts within, individuals can tap into a reserve of inner strength and resilience. This newfound sense of empowerment can lead to greater personal growth, as individuals feel more equipped to face life's challenges with grace and confidence.

3. Improved Self-Esteem and Confidence

As individuals come to understand and embrace the different parts within them, they often experience a profound shift in self-perception. By connecting with the core Self, a wellspring of inner wisdom and compassion, individuals can develop a stronger sense of self-worth and confidence.

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As individuals embark on their IFS journey, these potential benefits can pave the way towards a more harmonious and integrated sense of self. By embracing and understanding the protective parts, manager parts, firefighter parts, and wounded parts, you can use them as a helpful counsel with specialized strengths.

It's important to note that the effectiveness of IFS may vary from person to person, and seeking guidance from a skilled IFS therapist can greatly enhance the therapeutic process. Through this transformative approach, individuals have the opportunity to cultivate a deeper sense of self-compassion, acceptance, and overall well-being.

 FAQs about working with an IFS therapist

  • Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) are two distinct yet effective therapeutic approaches, each with its unique focus and methodology.

    Divergent Focus:

    IFS centers around the idea that within each individual exists a dynamic interplay of distinct "parts," each with its emotions, beliefs, and motivations. The goal is to foster harmony and integration among these internal facets.

    Conversely, EMDR is primarily designed to address specific traumatic memories. Through guided eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation, EMDR helps desensitize and reprocess these memories, reducing their emotional charge.

    Choosing the Right Approach:

    Consider the nature of your challenges. If you find yourself grappling with inner conflicts, conflicting emotions, or a sense of fragmentation, IFS may offer a more comprehensive and tailored approach to address these underlying dynamics.

    Alternatively, if you're primarily struggling with specific traumatic memories that continue to evoke distress, EMDR may be a more targeted and suitable option.

    In some cases, a combination of both approaches, under the guidance of a skilled therapist, may offer a comprehensive solution. Ultimately, the right choice depends on your unique needs and the specific nature of the challenges you're facing. Consulting with a qualified therapist can provide valuable insights into which approach aligns best with your healing journey.

  • If you're seeking an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist near you, there are several resources available to help you on your journey to healing. Online directories and therapist referral services, such as Psychology Today, Therapy Den, GoodTherapy, and the official IFS Institute directory, can be invaluable tools in locating a certified IFS therapist in your area.

    Additionally, at Lunasa Counseling and Wellness, we're committed to making IFS therapy accessible to individuals across the entire state of Colorado. While we offer in-person sessions at our Boulder location, we also provide virtual therapy services. This means that regardless of your location within the state, you have the opportunity to work with our experienced IFS therapists from the comfort of your own space. This flexible approach ensures that you can receive the support and guidance you need, no matter where you are on your journey towards healing and self-discovery.

  • The duration of IFS therapy is a deeply personal and individualized process. Several factors can influence the timeline of your healing journey. The complexity and depth of the issues you're working through, as well as your level of readiness for self-exploration, play a significant role.

    Furthermore, the extent of integration and harmony among your internal parts can impact how swiftly you progress. The depth of trauma or inner conflicts you're addressing may also influence the pace of your healing.

    It's essential to remember that therapy is not a linear path with predetermined milestones. Your experience with IFS therapy is uniquely yours, and there's no definitive way to predict how quickly or slowly progress will unfold. Be gentle with yourself, and trust the process, knowing that each step you take is a valuable part of your journey towards greater self-compassion and inner harmony.

internal family systems therapist

Find inner harmony and acceptance with the help of an IFS therapist in Boulder, CO. 

Lunasa Counseling and Wellness is here to provide a compassionate, non-pathologizing, and trauma-informed approach to treatment. We use evidence-based practices and stay up to date on the most current research and effective techniques. We don't think you are broken. Being human is hard, and we adapt to challenges in many ways that can become unhelpful.

We are accepting new clients! If you are interested in IFS therapy to heal internal wounds, reach out for a free consultation to start the process.